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What if My Parent Is Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol?

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What if My Parent Is Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol?

Post by Oppa on Sat 28 Jan 2017, 7:56 am

“Dad said he’d be away working on the van, but we hadn’t heard
from him all day. Mom tried calling him on the phone. No answer.
A little while later, I noticed that Mom had a worried look on her
face and that she was getting ready to leave. ‘I’m going to check
on your dad,’ she told me.
“Later, Mom returned—alone. ‘Dad wasn’t there, was he?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied.
“At that moment I knew that Dad was up to his old tricks. It was
just like the last time. You see, my dad’s a drug addict. And by the
time he came home, my Mom and I were nervous wrecks. I
basically ignored him all the next day—which I feel absolutely
horrible about.”—Karen, 14.
MILLIONS of youths endure the daily turmoil of living with a
parent who’s hooked on drugs or alcohol. If one of your parents
is enslaved to such an addiction, he or she may embarrass,
frustrate, and even anger you.
Mary, for example, was raised by a dad who seemed to be a nice
person when in public. But he was a closet alcoholic, and at home
he subjected his family to profanity and abuse. “People would
come up to us children and tell us what a wonderful father we
had and how fortunate we were,” Mary recalls bitterly. *
If one of your parents is addicted to alcohol or drugs, how can
you cope?

Posts : 33
Join date : 2017-01-25
Age : 25

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Re: What if My Parent Is Addicted to Drugs or Alcohol?

Post by Oppa on Sat 28 Jan 2017, 7:59 am
The fact remains that until your parent straightens out his life, you
must live with the consequences of his behavior. In the
meantime, what can you do about it?
Don’t take responsibility for your parent’s addiction. Your
parent—and your parent alone—is responsible for his addiction.
“Each one will carry his own load,” says Galatians 6:5. It’s not
your job, then, to cure your parent, nor are you obliged to shield
him from the consequences of his addiction. For example, you
don’t have to lie for him to his boss or drag him off the front
porch when he’s fallen into a drunken stupor there.
Encourage your parent to get help. Your parent’s biggest
problem may be admitting that he has a problem. When he’s
sober and calm, perhaps the nonaddicted parent along with the
older siblings can tell him how his behavior is affecting the family
and what he needs to do about it.
In addition, your addicted parent might do well to write down the
answers to the following questions: What will happen to me and
my family if I keep drinking or taking drugs? What will happen if I
give up my habit? What must I do to get help?
If trouble is brewing, leave the scene. “Before the quarrel
has burst forth, take your leave,” says Proverbs 17:14. Don’t put
yourself at risk by getting in the middle of a quarrel. If possible,
retire to your room or go to a friend’s house. When the threat of
violence exists, outside help may be needed.
Acknowledge your feelings. Some youths feel guilty because
they resent an addicted parent. It’s only normal to feel a degree of
resentment, especially if your parent’s addiction prevents him
from giving you the love and support you need. True, the Bible
obligates you to honor your parent. ( Ephesians 6:2, 3) But “honor”
means to respect his authority, in much the same way as you are
to respect that of a police officer or a judge. It doesn’t mean that
you approve of your parent’s addiction. ( Romans 12:9) Nor are
you a bad person because you’re repulsed by his drinking or drug
abuse; after all, substance abuse is repulsive!— Proverbs 23:29-35.
Find upbuilding association. When life at home is chaotic, you
can lose sight of what’s normal. It’s important, therefore, that you
enjoy the association of people who are spiritually and emotionally
healthy. Members of the Christian congregation can provide much
nurturing and support as well as an occasional break from family
stress. ( Proverbs 17:17) Association with Christian families can give
you a healthy model of family life to counteract the distorted
model you observe at home.
Seek help for yourself. Having a mature, trusted adult with
whom you can share your feelings really helps. Congregation
elders are willing to help you when you need them. The Bible says
that these men can be “like a hiding place from the wind and a
place of concealment from the rainstorm, like streams of water in
a waterless country, like the shadow of a heavy crag in an
exhausted land.” ( Isaiah 32:2) So don’t be afraid or ashamed to go
to them for comfort and advice.
Write here which of the above six steps you will try to apply first.
You may not be able to change the situation at home, but you can
change the way you’re affected by it. Rather than trying to control
your parent, focus on the one person you can control—you.
“Keep working out your own salvation,” wrote the apostle Paul.
( Philippians 2:12) Doing so will help you maintain a positive
outlook, and it might even prod your parent to seek help for his

Posts : 33
Join date : 2017-01-25
Age : 25

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